a hard pill to swallow
by rambunctious child
Summary: You should never enter a private room with someone at a party unless you are hoping to have sex with them; or prepared to deal with the consequences. (I realize that this makes it look like the non-con is Draco/Astoria, it is not!) warnings: attempted non-con/rape, possibly some language - if you believe i should adjust the rating let me know in a review :)
1. Chapter 1

AN* here is a new story idea i have been kicking around for a while, finally made its way onto fanfiction.

Special thanks to my beta-reader rainbowspring :)

disclaimer. i do not own, or claim to own, harry potter.

**A hard pill to swallow**

**Chapter 1**

I am the best friend I know. After everything I still hang out with Blaise at parties. He always runs off with some people he barely knows, gets sloppy drunk, and I end up spending the whole night picking up after him, or apologizing on his behalf to the girls he's been hitting on, and when all that's over with he always manages to get lost on the way home; we drop him off at his house. I wasted half of my night just to find him sleeping in the bushes by the front door.

And still I let Blaise drag me to some stupid house party, in a neighborhood that could best be described as expected, and a house that was appropriate. It was all painfully ordinary.

"Malfoy, will you quit your pouting it'll be fun." Blaise assured me as walked up the drive.

"Yeah like every other party you somehow manage to drag me to. I don't even know where we are, I'm not going to know anyone here. How do you know her?"

"Her father owns the beach house next to my stepfathers." Blaise explained as he opened the front door.

"Which stepfather?" He had already been whisked away by some 'friend', leaving me standing alone in the door.

* * *

I ended up sitting by the stereo, going through the host's record collection, it was what you would expect: Britney Spears, Back Street Boys- it was terrible.

"Please tell me you've found something worth listening to." It's some guy with a white smile and floppy hair.

"Unless you're interested in knowing what the Spice Girls really, really, want," He gave me a drink along with an introduction- Joseph Turpin. You know those conversations you read in books, where the pace is even, and the comments are witty and fit into each other comfortably, well it was like that- at least it felt that way, in all honestly it was probably choppy, and disjointed, and just as messy as real life conversations, I honestly just can't remember. I think it might have had something to do with that drink- the comfortable feeling and the not remembering. I do remember that while we were talking Blaise came over to introduce some girl named Amber, the only memorable aspect about her being her cleavage, and stepped on my cup soaking the carpet with whatever it was that I had been drinking; Joseph seemed much more upset about it then I was.

If you have ever been stuck at a family party were your cousins all enjoy country music and are having sing along, you'll understand the full effects of being surrounded by music you strongly dislike- if you dislike country anyway, I suppose country could be swapped out for whatever it is that you dislike. Point being that when Joseph mentioned Courtney's -I guess she's the girl throwing the party- brother had a record collection; it seemed like a fantastic idea to go check it out.

Here I would like to interject that you should never enter a private room with someone at a party unless you are hoping to have sex with them.

"So where are-" and he kissed me. "What the fuck do you think you're doing!" I tried to push him off me, but he just kept grabbing at me and all the fast movement of being pulled forward and pushing back was making me dizzy, which it shouldn't be, and that fact wasn't helping me to think straight.

"Oh come on, I'm just trying to have a little fun." He started tugging at my shirt, so I went to hit him, but I missed, how could I miss? I don't remember how but I was on the floor, and he was trying to hold me down, and I was trying to get out from underneath him.

I would like to thank every ad attempting to keep people from smoking for failing the occupant of this bedroom.

It became fairly obvious to me that I wasn't going to be able to shove him off me, half of the time I didn't hit him at all- I kept seeing double. I waited until Joseph was busy with his belt buckle to reach behind me and take something from the book shelf, unfortunately my hand fumbled about a bit and I knocked enough things onto the floor to get his attention. It was all or nothing now, grasping the closest thing to my hand- which happened to be one of those glass ash trays that when you accidentally drop you see it shatter in your head but it always turns out fine- and swung. I must have hit him for when I got up to run I ran, although I did fumble around with the door handle for a bit, and hit the door frame on my way out.

"You sly dog!" Blaise clapped me on the back. Seeing my rumpled appearance and assuming close to the truth, but not quite.

"We need to go."

"Who was she?"

"Blaise we need to go now!" I tried to direct him toward the door, almost falling myself.

"Are you okay…" Blaise grabbed me by the forearm and dragged me towards the fireplace. "Usually I'm the one who's piss drunk." He laughed as he flooed us to my house.

AN* what will happen next? please **review** to find out.


	2. Chapter 2

AN* Here is chapter 2, Astoria will soon be arriving into the story for those of you who are waiting for her, no worries. Things aren't exactly looking up for poor Draco :(

Thanks again to my beta reader rainbowspring, I'm glad you liked chapter one so much, i've had this idea for a long time but i've just needed time to figure out the right words. I'm happy it turned out. Poor Draco :,( i hate doing this to him, as for the Draco Astoria Non-con stories i have never read any but i have seen them about, i honestly can't believe it. I think Draco's much better then that, and Astoria is too smart to allow such things to happen, or continue if they have happened.

disclaimer- please refer to chapter 1

a hard pill to swallow

**Chapter 2**

"Draco, what is this about?" My mother doesn't have to yell for me to know that I am in trouble, however it is one of those times where you're so certain you haven't done anything that you're more confused than anything.

"Would you care to explain to me how it is you were charged with assaulting a Mr. Joseph Turpin." I should have been worried.

"What?"

"Well, did you hit him?" My mother demands, in the sort of tone that suggests it's not a question, but a statement; that we both already know the answer.

"Yeah, but-" She's thrown her arms up into the air in exasperation.

"Jesus Christ Draco! What the hell did you think you were doing?" Once again she seemed to know what I thought I was doing.

"He attacked me, I'm the victim-"

"Then why is it that he's the one with the case!" The letter is waved about frantically. I can tell she at least wants to believe me.

"What does it mean?" She traces my gaze to the letter.

"I have to go write to our lawyer." The fact that she avoided answering means that she either doesn't know, or that's it isn't good. I'm opting for the former.

* * *

There is something terribly exciting about listening to conversations through walls. However when you are concerned, your breath manages to become trapped in your throat, and not in an anticipated way, but in an uncomfortable, tight sort of way.

"-I can get him a better sentence."

"But can you keep it off his record?"

"As long as he's being charged it's on his record Mrs. Malfoy, there isn't anything to be done for it."

"And what about his case!"

"What case-"

"Well what about his side of the story, if the attack was justified."

"Your husband doesn't want this going to court Mrs. Malfoy."

"Well it isn't my husband's case now is it."

* * *

Entering a court room feels a lot like church. You feel as though you're not allowed to talk, and that your constantly being watched, and your actions are being weighted.

I decided a long time ago that the only way I could be a lawyer was if I honestly hated myself; that's how much I hate lawyers.

"Did you hit Joseph Turpin on the head with an ash tray?"

"Yes-"

"Does that not fall under the definition of assault?"

"I'm assuming it does seeing as you're so confident about it."

"Then how can you argue that you are not guilty."

"I never said I didn't hit him, I'm saying I shouldn't get into trouble for it."

"So you think you're above the law."

"I think my _crime _falls under the description of self-defense."

"Mr. Malfoy, would you care to describe the nature of the attack."

"Excuse me?"

"You say you were attacked, why? Why would Mr. Turpin attack you?"

"What reason do I have to attack him?"

"You tell me." What was I supposed to say, the truth. I knew I should, but I couldn't help myself from looking into the crowd, at the jury, there weren't so many people-but there were still too many.

"Well, what happened, we would all love to know." I wiped my palms against my pants. "What did Mr. Turpin do that you needed to defend yourself from?"

"He came onto me."

"Is there anyone who can verify this?"

"Well, we had gone upstairs to look for some records, the music was horrible, it had been all night, and it was really starting to bother me, and Joseph had said that there were c.d.'s upstairs."

"How convenient that this all happened away from witnesses."

"What's that supposed to mean."

"It means Mr. Turpin has a medical file and a concussion, and all you have is a story, a story you didn't share until charged with a crime? If it were true shouldn't you have reported Mr. Turpin? Unless of course self-defense is just an easy way out of an assault crime?"

I fucking hate lawyers.


	3. Chapter 3

A hard pill to swallow

special thanks goes out to my beta reader rainbowspring, thank you for your dedicated efforts, they are very much appreciated. :)

**disclaimer- **please refer to the first chapter

note* sorry for my bias against the name Carol, I know it is unfair and uncalled for, however my first boss was named Carol, -and I was a 12yr old with a paper route then- and she made me cry more then once, ice feel although illogical my distaste for the name Carol is somewhat justified, or at least not meant in bad taste -sorry Carols, I know it's not you, it was just the one.

Chapter 3

There are two types of people; people who do charity work because they want to, and people who do charity work because they have to. For two months I would be stuck working in a soup kitchen. Once a week I would have to meet with my parole officer, Carole Wright - Ugh, Carole was one of those names that just knowing that was her name rubbed me the wrong way, I already knew she was going to be awful and I hadn't even had to meet her. I wonder if that's how people feel when they hear Malfoy?

"Hello Draco I'm Carole," Her voice was sickeningly sweet, best described as sticky, you could just feel the effort to be pleasant in it. "Hello Ms. Wright."

"Please, just Carole is fine." Damn, that name, every time I hear it I want to shake it off. Carole, ugh. "Now it's important to know why we are here." Oh God, she plans to use that damn tone the whole time. "We are here because you made a poor choice, and we want to insure that you learn from that poor choice so you don't make it again. I am here to help you with that." I knew I shouldn't be angry at her, she was only going off whatever report they had given her, but God damn it, her name was Carole.

"Actually, I'm here because I was falsely accused of a crime."

"Oh, how so?" So the real voice comes out.

"I didn't assault anyone, it was an act of self-defense. He was the attacker, I was the victim. Just because I got away I became the bad guy in this situation."

"Well, Draco, I believe that if that were true you wouldn't be here." How dare this bitch get smart with me.

"I'm here because your system's flawed."

"You're here because you are guilty. Because you clubbed a boy with an ash tray at a house party."

"You're making this sound like some malicious attack, it was one hit to the head, and come on really, who gets in a fight at a party in private? Have you ever been to a party? Fights are on the main floor in the thick of it; sex, drugs and rape are upstairs."

"Often times children cause trouble in order to receive attention, they also make up stories; I understand that your father isn't home very often-"

"You think I'm making this up."

"There isn't any evidence to support-" How dare she, I wasn't listening to this.

"Draco, we haven't finished-"

"Really, because I think I'm done for today." I slammed the door before she could interject, she can't get me into trouble, I hadn't broken any rule, I came and talked. Besides, she seemed the type to mark this as progress. To admit that she couldn't control me would mean she failed.

* * *

Shit, it's nameless Joe -which was a nickname and face you soon learned working at the soup kitchen. He came six times a day, once at every meal, and again to attempt to scam every meal. I wonder how pathetic your existence must be to have to scam a soup kitchen. It was his second time for dinner and no one ever wanted to be the one to show him out. He was a wild card. Some days he'd just shrug and say something like "can't blame a man for trying" - which were he to act like that all the time he probably would get his second helping every now and then, and other times he would pick a fight. Apparently one time he broke a window, but that sounded more like a rumour than a story.

I quickly put my finger to my nose when I saw him, Tyra noticed next and did the same. She was here for stealing some lip gloss. She still stole lip gloss; she just didn't get caught anymore. Nick soon followed; he was here to improve his resume. Chelsea, Jonathan, and Simon, were next. Chelsea and Simon where here for the sake of their church- getting involved made you more viable for trips. And Jonathan got caught smoking weed in his bedroom so his mother had made him come here- now he just gets high in the back. And as per usual Astoria was completely oblivious to everything. I can't understand what she finds so interesting; it can't be anything that happens here that's for sure. She was the only person here who wasn't being punished or had a ulterior motive. She actually wanted to be here. I don't understand it, she looked up to see everyone with their finger on their nose, tilted her head and then saw Nameless Joe in the line. "Good luck." Tyra laughed. Astoria was more than happy to escort Joe out, she was more than happy to do anything, always.

It's so boring here, handing out rolls isn't exactly very demanding in any aspect.

"Hey Malfoy, never thought I'd live to see you working." God, Zabini was not the person I wanted to see.

"Get out."

"Oh, come on, what are you mad at me for."

"Oh I don't know Blaise, perhaps had you not dragged me to that damned party I wouldn't be in this mess."

"Oh, so now it's my fault that you got drunk and picked a fight."

"That's not what happened and you know it, why didn't you defend me."

"My mum didn't want me to get involved; I actually came here because I genuinely care about how you're doing."

"Well I was fine until you invited me to the party."

"Fine, it's my fault! There, are you happy now? Did that change anything? No, you're still here, and you're still sulking. When you're done here come over and have some fun alright." Had I known better I would have thought he was actually worried about me.

**please remember to review!**


	4. Chapter 4

****A hard pill to swallow

special thanks to my beta reader rainbowspring!

**disclaimer- **please refer to the first chapter

Chapter 4

It's sad when you have to earn a day off during summer break. Since I couldn't do much community service once I started school I had to do it all now, which meant no weekends. However I needed to get enough hours to take at least one day off to go school shopping, otherwise I'd be stuck with robes from last year. So not only was I giving up my days, but I was staying the extra hour later to wash dishes- it was horrible, and usually meant being alone since no one particularly enjoys dishing out lunch, and much less dishes when someone else is willing to do it. The worst part was that if it took me more than an hour I was still only getting that hour, and if I didn't finish I wasn't getting a minute.

"Do you always stay late to do the dishes?" It's Astoria, she spends the least amount of time here, considering as she is the only one not trying to achieve anything, she usually goes home after the rush, when there's too many people and too little to do.

"Yup." I put the plug into the sink and start playing around with the tap to get it at a good temperature.

"That's really good of you." She probably meant nice, rather than good, but then again it was Astoria, she meant what she said and she said what she meant. "I suppose once everything's said and done people forget that there are still dishes."

"What are you doing?" She had come to stand beside me and was pulling a towel off the rack.

"I was going to dry if that's alright with you." Did she always have to smile?

"Be my guest, although I suppose you deserve to know that it is dangerous work."

"Really? How so?"

"Well, Mrs. Campbell, the land lady, always comes at seven thirty sharp to wait for me to finish so she can lock up,"

"Right."

"And she has this awful purse dog, honestly it looks like a rat."

"You're horrible." She teased, swatting me with the towel. "Besides, I don't see how that's dangerous."

"Have you heard those things yip?"

"Yip? Do you mean bark?" She's stifling a laugh now.

"They most certainly do not bark, I think I know what a bark sounds like, they yip."

"What does a bark sound like?"

"You seriously have to ask."

"You said you think you know what a bark sounds like, well what does it sound like?"

"I'm not barking."

"Why not?" I don't understand what Blaise has against pouting.

"Because it's beneath me."

"Psssh,"

"What's that _pshhhh _supposed to mean?"

"It means you, Draco Malfoy are a liar. You're afraid of sounding like an idiot."

"I'm afraid of sounding mad."

"Barking mad?" God that was an awful pun, and she let out a low howl, broken by multiple giggles.

"What are you doing?"

"Barking."

"That's not a bark, that's a howl. This is a bark." Before long we were both _barking mad _borrowing each other's tactics.

The bell above the door chimed and a shrill, high pitched, aaarf, aaaarffff, arf, arf, could be heard.

"That is not a bark at all."

* * *

After that day Astoria continued to show up to do the dishes with me.

"Why do you keep doing the dishes with me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you have somewhere to be? People to see?"

"Well, I have started a new book, The Great Gatsby, but it can wait." Those are her big plans for the summer? Soup kitchens and books?

"Yeah, not particularly exciting I know." Shit, I'd said that out loud.

"You don't have to come here you know, you could go out, be with your friends."

"I like coming here, the people are interesting, and it feels good to help. Besides I don't get invited places, and I don't have anyone to invite places." She was painfully honest, and well I don't know why but I felt guilty. It probably had to do with her helping me.

"Well, I could invite you places."

"You would do that? You hardly even know me, and I'm sure you have plenty of friends you could be spending your summer with, and you hardly have any free time as it is. I shouldn't have made you feel like you had to extend an invitation."

"I do have plenty of people I could be spending time with, but not many I want to." And that was the truth

**reviews are very much appreciated, thank you :)**


	5. Chapter 5

A hard pill to swallow

special thanks again to my beta reader rainbowspring, couldn't have done it without you :)

**disclaimer- please refer to the first chapter**

Chapter 5

When there is something that doesn't belong; like a giraffe on a farm, you'll be stuck to find someone who doesn't notice. So when Daphne Greengrass with her big glasses, crisp pink polo shorts, denim caprie's with the cuffs rolled, and white tennis shoes came in, all eyes were on her - as she had expected.

"Malfoy is my sister here." Polite as ever.

"In the back."

"You should mind your tone; you're speaking to a lady." I shouldn't have scoffed but I couldn't help it, you would too; she's ridiculous.

It's rude to eavesdrop I know, but what could be so important that Daphne would risk being seen in a soup kitchen to speak to her sister.

"-he committed a violent crime Astoria, I'm not allowing my little sister to hang around dangerous men, alone." Couldn't Astoria speak up, just a little?

"He's a liar Astoria, what else could you expect from a criminal. I'm already running late, I thought you should know the truth, we'll talk more at home, okay." Daphne strode purposefully from the back, "Malfoy." and then she was out the door.

"How dare you lie to me." Astoria had come out from the doorway

"What are you talking about?" She can tell I overheard them, damn it.

"You told me you were here doing community service because your mother wanted you to, because it looks good on university applications." Best go with a half-truth.

"She does want me here-"

"Yeah, so you don't end up in juvenile hall! What did you do? What were you charged with?" She already knew, but perhaps she'd believe me over Daphne, if she believed Daphne she wouldn't even bother talking to me; right? What's the most excusable crime...

"Vandalism."

"How dare you lie to me a second time!"

"If you knew why did you ask?"

"To give you a second chance." I blew it.

* * *

There are few feelings worse than when you have to admit someone you truly hate is correct… which wouldn't be so bad if it didn't mean you were wrong.

"Is there something on your mind, Draco?" Is it really that obvious?

"Yes."

"Well, do you want to discuss it." Do I want to tell Carole that I am as much the failure as she assumes that I am? Hmmm...

"Not with you."

"Draco, you are aware that you are here to talk."

"I'm here so you can make sure I haven't broken any rules, …or laws."

"I can't force you to talk, but I am certified…" is she really straitening her diploma while she says it? Good Lord."…I know you won't believe me but it does help."

"Why should I believe you if you don't believe me?"

"How about this then, I'll pretend I believe you, you pretend you believe me, and we'll see what we can do."

"I met a girl at the soup kitchen, and we've sort of become friends, even though she's the type of girl who reads novels, and dreams about university, while all the other girls plan their weddings, and gossip, anyway. I lied about why I was there, and she knows the truth now; but not the whole truth, and I want to explain what actually happened to her, but she won't listen to me." God I wish she'd stop looking at me like I was such an interesting case.

"You seem smarter than your actions would predict, Mr. Malfoy, which means you're smart enough to know she deserves better."

* * *

Astoria stood next to me in the assembly line.

"I was rude and intolerant; I should have given you an opportunity to properly and fully explain yourself. You didn't deserve to be treated that way." She didn't just say that because it was the right thing to say, but because she meant it. She waited for me to respond.

"No…you did the right thing."

"Well, can you at least tell me why it was the right thing; I want to know the full story."

"You already know the story, Daphne told you."

"So that's it?"

"Yeah."

"That doesn't make sense; you wouldn't just hit somebody for no reason."

"Well I did."

"I don't believe that, not of you, I know you."

"You _thought_ you knew me." Astoria looks like she's about to cry, and it hurts to think that it's my fault.

I have to keep reminding myself that it's for the best, as I wash the dishes by myself, but, it doesn't really feel that way.

**reviews would be lovely, thank you, constructive criticism is welcome as well. **


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